The timing of tonight’s post is a little odd. I’m about to segue into a pretty painful part of my story involving a totally different boy, but I’m celebrating Valentine’s Day/weekend with the guy who has had the patience to deal with this part of my story with me…
It’s the middle of the night and I’m on a Christian Tours bus riding back home from Louisville, Kentucky. Our Acteens group is coming home from the National Acteens Convention. We’ve just spent the past four days with over 11,000 teenage girls from 21 other countries. Pretty sure I have sun poison from getting sunburned on top of the sunburn I still had from Caswell. I’m physically exhausted but my mind is still racing at about a thousand miles an hour.
With pen and notebook in hand, I’m making a list. I’m making a list because that’s what I was challenged to do by Jaci Valesquez as she stood before us talking about purity in relationships and waiting for sex until marriage and starting now to pray for our future husbands. And the list I’m making is what I’m praying for in that future husband of mine.
In the seventh grade, it means that list includes everything from “blonde hair and blue eyes” to “plays soccer” and “isn’t a Carolina fan”. Most everything on that list was incredibly surface and if we’re honest, I was making the list based on the boy I was crushing on at the time. And I’m praying for that future husband too with “I Promise” playing on my walkman as the soundtrack to this moment.
I Promise
Sung by: Jaci Valesquez
Lord, You know my heart
And all my desires
And the secret things,
I’ll never tell.
Lord, You know them well.
Though I may be young,
I see and understand
That at times, like sheep
We go astray,
And things get out of hand.
So, I promise
To be true to You
To live my life in purity
As unto You
Waiting for the day
When I hear You say
Here is the one
I have created
Just for you
Until then, oh Lord
I will be content
Knowing that true love
Will come someday
It will only come from You
Cause I have seen the suffering
That loneliness can cause
When we choose to give
Our love away
Without a righteous cause
So I promise
To be true to You
To live my life in purity
As unto You
Waiting for the day
When I hear You say
Here is the one
I have created
Just for you
I had no idea that the very list I was so excited to write and pray over would have to change as I changed, and would one day be the cause for all the walls that needed to come down in order for me to embrace the one God really had for me.
Show Me What It Means 
What a trip! Thanks for the memory this morning:)
By far, that summer was one of the best! 🙂 Some days, I still find myself missing Caswell, NAC, Backyard Bible Clubs with puppets, and all of you who were with me when we were being part of something so priceless.