Tag Archive | self image

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Jul5

Tonight, I went to get ready for bed just like I always do.  It was a typical evening routine: clear the bed of all the clothes I opted out of wearing this morning, turn down the covers, throw my journal and pen on the bed, grab my pajamas and head for the shower.  The path from my room to the shower is short, but it still means having to pass two mirrors.  I walk past these mirrors countless times on any given day.  The one in the hall has been where we’ve all made sure our look for the day was a good one.  I’ve stood in front of it many times to put on make-up while someone else was in the shower.  It hangs over a glass cabinet and the set was given to me by my grandmother.  I have always loved this mirror!  The one in the bathroom has had numerous notes scribbled and pictures drawn in dry erase marker.  I’ve played at the sink with kids while grinning at ourselves and making faces at our reflections.  I fix my hair in front of that mirror every morning; I enjoy my morning routine about as much as I do my evening one.  For some reason, tonight was different; they both stopped me dead in my tracks.

You know those moments when you really don’t want to cry, but you’re not really sure what else to do?  Normally, I’m pretty good at pushing back those emotions (though I’m not sure that’s a good thing).  Tonight, I couldn’t help myself; I just stood there and cried.  My heart’s in an incredibly bizarre place right now, struggling with emotions that I don’t think I could define if I tried.  The tears streaming down my face were just an outward expression of my inward struggle.  To top it off, I was looking a mess!  My skin was red and greasy from sunscreen.  My hair, while pulled up, was still frizzy from the Eastern North Carolina humidity.  You would have thought I had just left the pool or come off the beach.  If you’ve ever been with me to either of those— you now have mental picture of just how rough I was looking.  When you’re emotions are all over the place, you’re feeling rough, the last thing you need is to glance in the mirror and discover that you’re looking the part too. 

I had just come in from hanging out with a really good friend of mine.  We had been talking about all the people we know who have either just gotten engaged or married and how we should be stoked for them, but that, instead, it brings about this whole realm of “when is it going to be my turn” questions, as well as “if someone asks me that one more time” frustrations.  She had just heard me say that I’m the girl guys are friends with, not the girl guys date.  And now, standing in front of a mirror I’ve usually loved, I knew I was staring at a girl who isn’t convinced she deserves to be loved at all. 

Now, I know that the mess I was standing in tonight is just a result of lies from the Enemy.  I do– I know it in my heart!  However, I’m not going to pretend that just because I know that means I wasn’t struggling in unbelievably distinctive ways tonight.  Because tonight, I guess my head had the upper-hand. 

So what do you do?  Well, if you’re me, you take your shower then go into your room and blast Bethany Dillon’s “Beautiful”…

 

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way.”   (Song of Solomon 4:7)

Maybe It’s Maybelline

Jun27

With tears flooding down her face, she tried to share about her day.  It was not the response to “how was your day” that any of us were expecting.  I assumed the day had been full of laughs and good times with friends; she seemed relatively excited about the shopping trip before she went.  Through her quivering lips and broken speech, I heard her say that she was measured as a size fourteen for her dress today.  If you were sitting looking at the same girl I was, you would never guess that fourteen was her normal size.  Any other day, she’s a size six! 

Apparently, everyone else was measured as a zero or a four (Side note: Ahem, zero is not a size!) and were done in skinny minute.  This super cute girl took a little longer.  The “problem”?  She’s just a little more blessed in the upper-body than the rest of those girls.  Most people would consider this a good problem to have, but when you’re the only girl who took more than a minute and you measure more than twice your normal size—it’s hard not to let Satan have that opportunity to rip your self-esteem to shreds.

You would be hard-pressed to convince me that society puts as much pressure on guys as they do girls to look a certain way.  Advertisers prey on the struggles.  For example, “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline”.  If she doesn’t feel born with it, she clearly needs Maybelline to cover it all up.  Walk through the Health and Beauty section of any store and what do you find?  Hair dying products because your natural color isn’t good enough.  Make-up in a million brands for every skin tone, because you need to look flawless.  Curling irons for the girls with straight hair and straighteners if you don’t like your curly hair.  The list goes on and on.

When did our natural looks stop being okay?  Marilyn Monroe once defined femininity at a size twelve.  What happened to that?  (Not trying to imply that Ms. Monroe is a great role model in every other area, but we do owe her for that size twelve thing!)  In fact, she said it best when she said,

“A woman is often measured by the things she cannot control.  She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn’t curve.  By where she is flat or straight or round.  She is measured by 36-24-36 and inches and ages and numbers.  By all the outside things that don’t ever add up to who she is on the inside and so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control.  By who she is and who she is trying to become because as every woman knows, measurements are only statistics and statistics lie.”

 

Why is the “do you think I’m beautiful” question one that weighs on the heart of women so heavily?  Why do we look to anyone other than Jesus for the answer?  How does Satan get such an “in” to our hearts through our self-esteem issues?  Who decided what the “standard” for our outward appearance should be?  Who decided there should even be a standard?  And is it wrong to want to cause them bodily harm?

All of those questions were flying around my mind as I tried to decide what to offer my incredibly cute little sister.  I started with sarcastic remarks (it’s what I do), but ended with hugging her and reminding her that she’s beautiful!  We curled up and read “You Are Special” for about the hundredth time.  (It may be a children’s book, but sometimes you just have to do that.)  Bless you Max Lucado for reminding us that we are all God’s creations, made in His image, and that God doesn’t make mistakes!

I don’t have the answers to even one of those questions from last night.  I also know those same struggles VERY well.  My prayer today is that we’ll all (girls and guys alike) hear the gentle whisper of our Maker, “Remember, you are special because I made you. And I don’t make mistakes.”