I know I’m making a big jump from yesterday’s post about my first grade self to today’s post where I am in the seventh grade, but it’s my story and I think that makes it okay. 🙂
Cancer. A word that felt really threatening to me, especially since it was cancer that took Grandmamma just the year before. And now here I sat, on our living room couch, listening to my parents say that Uncle Dennis has cancer. My dad was part of a family of five, but grew up in a family of four. And over the past two years, we had lost his dad (suddenly), then his mom (to cancer), and now we were learning this his brother was incredibly sick. With cancer.
“For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
Jeremiah 29:11. That’s the verse that was printed on little cards and showing up everywhere as we walked through the loss of my Uncle Dennis. While I could not fathom why on earth this was the plan—I knew one thing, for sure—I was having a really hard time feeling bad for Uncle Dennis. My heart was aching for my dad, my Aunt Vicki, and all four of my cousins (his kids). However, the way I figured it, Uncle Dennis won either way. If he got better, he got to stay here with his family. If he didn’t get better, he was going to heaven and party with Jesus.
It was wrapping my mind around how this was God’s plan that was my problem. How was it his plan to leave an 8th grade boy without his dad? How was it his plan for my dad to be left without his family? How was it his plan to leave Aunt Vicki without her husband? Lori would never have her Dad walk her down the aisle to her husband. He wouldn’t be there as all of these “firsts” continued to happen. God the Father was about to leave four kids fatherless??
Maybe the hope and future was for Uncle Dennis, not us…
Show Me What It Means 
And I think all the time that if my dad had not had cancer, Thad would not have spent time with Steve Weaver. He would not have been offered the job at Parkwood as a result of the time Thad spent with Steve in the waiting rooms at Chapel Hill and those 9 youth, whom Thad had the opportunity to disciple may not be in full-time vocational ministry today. God is good-ALL THE TIME and maybe, just maybe, the hope and future had nothing to do with us as all. Maybe it has been about building His kingdom all the while.
Looking back on it all…. I’m totally with you! My middle school self sure wasn’t though. I’m so thankful that you were willing to set forth the example of the 31 Days of Grace, sharing your story, challenge. I’ve been able to look back and see the fingerprints of God all over parts of my story that I never saw at the time.