She bounced through the door just like she always does: all smiles and goofy conversation.  The girl is just one big ball of energy that can sometimes be overwhelming but typically a much welcomed breath of fresh air.  Somewhere in the midst of our laughing, she looked at me and asked “how are you really feeling with all of that?”  A simple question that is usually pretty cathartic to answer.  Today was different though.  Today, there were no words.  Maybe because I’ve thought about it way too many times and expressed it in so many words that I was out of ways to differentiate it.  There are over ten editions to the infamous Webster’s dictionary.  We probably add words to the English language every day.  Yet somehow, today, there were no words.

“How do I feel about it?”

“Yes, as in, really.”

“I don’t know anymore.”

“I thought you were sure.”

“I am!”

“Then how do you not know how you feel about it?”

“Hmm… interesting question. I can define, without question, where I’m at with it all.  There are few things in life that I’m certain of, but this is one of those where I know that I know.  It’s discerning the pieces that have to be brought by someone else but haven’t been that’s the problem.”

“So ask for them.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“Why?”

At the time, I wasn’t sure how to respond to that.  I’ve thought about it the rest of the day.  Why does it feel so complicated?  I guess it’s because sometimes, I can’t find the words to ask the question that will give me the answer I’m searching for.  I don’t even have to like the answer; I just want to know what it is.

But how do you know when it’s okay to ask the question?  And if you could decipher the time to ask the question, where do you find the words to ask it when it feels like there are no words?