Today, I did something I haven’t done in a really long time: watched a movie with my little sister in the middle of the afternoon!  Just because I could, ha!  We opted for The Vow.  The book was phenomenal!  The interviews with the couple that wrote the book—incredible story!  I’m not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed in the movie.  However, there’s a line at the beginning of the movie that really struck a chord in me.  Leo, who deserves the Husband of the Century award, says,

“We are the sum of every single moment in our lives, every person we’ve ever known– and these moments become our history.”  (The Vow)

Maybe it’s because my past has really had a grip on me lately.  Or at least it did.  If you read my Safe Haven post, then you’ve caught a glimpse into that part of my heart.  I am learning a lot on this journey.  (I know it didn’t really seem like it from last night’s post, but I am!)  One of the biggest things I’m learning is that the closer I get to where I believe the Lord wants me to be, the more Satan will use the areas I’m most vulnerable– to tear me apart.  I just have to learn to stay steady the course.  I get to decide how the fires from my past will affect me.  There may be events and people in my past that I’m not excited to admit are there, but they are part of what makes me who I am today and I’m determined that I will come out of this sanctified, not just scarred!

In the midst of all the “dark places” along this journey, there are also a lot of people and experiences that I can see God a lot easier.  (Think: Magic Eye.  On top of it, I couldn’t see the same thing that I can now that I’m further away from it.)  I am blessed to be friends with some of the most amazing people folks ever.  Lately, I have been a rather high maintenance friend.  I am eternally grateful for friends who are willing to roll up their sleeves and be right in the middle of all of this with me.  They have gotten in my world and spoken my language, if you will.  They have dropped what they’re doing to touch base with me, insisted we do lunch, or packed their bags and came to town for an Andy Griffith marathon.  They have heard me say the same thing over and over again and hugged me while I’ve made no sense.  They have offered encouraging words and told their own “messy” stories to remind me that I’m normal.  I only hope that I can be the same in their world!

I’m the sum of all of that—the good and the bad; the fun and the hard.  I know God is shaping me into something beautiful.  I just think that, right now, I’m still in the cocoon.  I’m excited for the day I feel more like a butterfly.  I hope there’s a lot of pink, ha!    

“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”  (Psalm 40:2)