I love to sit and talk with friends who get me.  I mean really get me.  I also love to sit and just listen to people who I get.  We don’t have to explain ourselves or tell a million side-stories to make what we’re saying make sense for the other one.  I like to feel understood.  I don’t want to call a help line and have to pick a language or struggle through accents with whatever representative is on the other end of the phone.  I just want someone who speaks my language, Southern English.

Today, I watched as a woman was trying to locate a certain item in Target.  I’m not certain which country she is from, but I know she would not consider America to be her native one.  She stood there trying to describe the item to the clerk, because she clearly was not sure what we call it.  The clerk stood there guessing and continued to guess wrong.  I could tell that they were both getting incredibly frustrated and I wished that I was fluent in that lady’s language.  That’s all she wanted—someone to speak her language!

Recently, a small group that I’m involved in started a study on The Five Love Languages.  I’m off the charts Quality Time and Physical Touch.  I know you love me if we’re hanging out and/or really talking.  Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t have to be just two of us chatting the whole time on a couch or something.  Some of my best heart-sharing moments have happened over cards, a game of mini-golf, lunch, a long car ride, laundry, or a simple walk.  To me, that’s quality time.  As for physical touch—don’t get the wrong idea.  I’m not trying to make out with you!  You can easily just be next to me on the couch for a movie or Friends marathon, or just hug me if you’re excited to see me.

Another friend of mine in the group, who’s sure their language is sarcasm or practical jokes, is actually Words of Affirmation.  It’s not unusual to get a, seemingly random, text message that just says: smile!  You’re doing great today!  Or simply: Praying for you today, girl!  Not too long ago, I called them to see if everything was okay, they seemed distant.  That made little to no sense to them.  They thought I was the one upset since I had not really responded to any of their texts other than with a smiley face or short ‘Thanks”.  Today, as we discovered our Love Languages, it made sense to both of us.  Neither of us had been trying to speak the other one’s language!  I need to hang out and they’re incredibly introverted.  They needed me to click “like” on their Facebook status or send a real response to their texts, and my world wasn’t feeling very altered by what was a well thought-out, intentional text, meant just for me.  We were both feeling an awful lot like that lady in Target.

We were created for community; God created us as relational beings.  I’m learning that it is important that we be intentional about investing in community with those He has placed in our lives.  In order to best do that, we have to know each other’s languages and then do our best to speak them.