If you were to Google “Fort Caswell”, trying to figure out what the place was all about, you would find the following description on their home page:

Tucked away on the eastern tip of Oak Island, the North Carolina Baptist Assembly at Fort Caswell occupies the site of a former Civil War fort. Since 1949, when the Baptist State Convention bought the property from the federal government, Caswell has been an instrument of peace, offering NC Baptists and others a place of quiet reflection and relaxation. We invite you to come and visit us here at Caswell, and discover the peace and beauty that thousands of others have enjoyed.

That’s not how I would describe it at all.  I would want you to know that Caswell means walking the outer loop of campus hoping to see the cute guy from your small group because you need to know where he’s staying.  It’s getting burnt on the beach with new friends.  It’s having your ice cream from the PX melt before you ever even get down the ramp.  It’s worshipping in Hatch with about a thousand other teenagers.  It’s climbing a fort and hoping you don’t fall off the top.  It’s strolling down the pier as the waves crashes beneath you.  It’s sitting in front porch rocking chairs, sharing life with the other members of your youth group.  It’s getting to have some seriously good Bible Study time while your feet dangle over the water.  It’s watching the boys play basketball from the loft of the gym and mastering the putt-putt course.  It’s napping on your bunk bed and getting confronted because you signed your name to it too.  It’s becoming friends with your neighbors and exchanging addresses (yes, I remember when we still wrote letters) and becoming Facebook friends years later.  Caswell means little brown bags full of notes from each member of our group, written on index cards.  It is flags from each youth group hanging in Hatch and creating offering containers that represent your group too.  It’s wondering if anyone besides FBC Lenoir will ever win the Sandcastle Competition.  It’s sitting up late with flashlights, sharing hearts with the other girls in your room.  It’s becoming friends with the Praise and Worship Team.  It’s shedding tears and sharing hugs during evening devotion time with your own Youth Group.  Caswell means getting away from the world and seeking God for a week, under the sun, with the people who know you best.

For me, Caswell is where I felt called into Youth Ministry during our Friday night worship service in Hatch.  I remember asking my Dad how I was supposed to know for sure that I had been and not getting a real answer, other than, “you’ll have to work that out with the Lord”.

I don’t know if it was the dim room, cool music, and too much sun that made me feel called to Youth Ministry that night or if was truly the Lord drawing my heart.  I do know that for the next several years, “Yes ma’am, I’m going to school for Youth Ministry” was my answer to everyone’s “what’s your plan” question.  I also know that night dictated many decisions to follow.

What I did not know was how much I would later wrestle intensely with what really went down that night…