She slipped in and took a seat in the corner.  A river of mascara gushed down her face.  I gently closed the door behind her and waited until she was ready to share what on earth was going on.  This girl is not my cry-er.  She has been accused of being “too optimistic” but never one to let her guard down enough to cry over anything.  I knew that whatever was going on– was a really big deal!

“It’s just so confusing.”

 “What is?  What’s so confusing?”

 “All of it.  Life, career choices, and guys.  Guys are so confusing.”

 “No argument here, on any of those accounts.  But what happened?

Through broken sentences and hurt feelings, she shared what had happened and my heart was quickly resonating.  Guys ARE confusing.  And life IS messy.  And words DO hurt.  Whoever said “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” was mystified.  Words do hurt!  They cut deep and impinge on us greatly.  I think I’d rather you just break my arm!  It’s cool; my arm can be set and I’ll be able to watch it heal.  The heart though, the heart is a funny thing.  Break it too badly and it may never recover.

I heard her out and then shared my story.  She wanted so badly to believe she wasn’t a freak for feeling wrecked.  I talked about stupid boys and bad decisions.  I encouraged the waiting and empathized with the frustrations that come with that.  And I admitted that words have cut right to the core of who I am too.  I reminded her that Satan knows our weaknesses, probably better than we do.  And that he will take what we are most passionate about and try to use it against us.  I reminded her that it doesn’t really matter what the world thinks or believes about us that it’s really just God’s opinion and He thinks we’re to die for!

Then I ran out of things to share and encourage her with, so I adopted the rule from Steel Magnolias and didn’t let her cry alone in my presence.  I am so thankful that when words fail, tears can fall and tears can heal.

Oh, the paradox of giving out the very advice you need to be taking yourself…