I know that it may be offensive to some but, if I could tell girls just one thing, it would be to slow down and just be the girl.  We complain all the time that guys don’t man up, and while I think that’s true for most guys—it’s not true for all guys.  I think the reason that some guys aren’t stepping up to be men is because girls are standing in their way.  I’ve heard so many girls, women, say lately that they just want to be pursued.  Yet, they keep doing the pursuing. 

I’ve seen “He’s Just Not That Into You” at least fifty times and in a lot of ways the movie just makes me laugh.  For example, there’s a moment when Mary makes a statement this is so true of how today’s generation functions, especially when it comes to how we “communicate” and how frustrating it can be.  I laugh because there’s a lot of truth in her statement and I’m sure if anyone was to watch us do it—they’d think we were nuts.  She paints the perfect picture to her friend when she says,

“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn’t. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”

 There’s a lot of truth in that statement!  It is exhausting to run around so caught up in: has he called me? Did he text me?  Maybe he Facebook-ed me or e-mailed me.  Why hasn’t he contacted me all day?  It’s also really disappointing when he doesn’t, right?  Another character, Gigi, spends the entire movie seeking advice from Alex (the guy’s perspective) and every single time she calls with a new scenario and her one million possible interpretations of the moment he always comes back with, “If a guy wants to be with you, he’ll make it happen.”

Now I know that taking advice from a Hollywood film is not always wise, but that’s a statement that I wish girls would take to heart and remember when they’re in the middle of doing the initiating and pursuing.  If only they would stop and remind themselves that if they guy wants to be with you—he’ll step up. 

Today, as I walked through our building and to my office, my eye was caught by a young girl who seemed to be (literally) throwing herself at the boy across the table from her.  I wondered out loud if I was anything like that, secretly knowing that I was.  I vividly remember the first boy to make me crazy.  A girl will never forget the first boy she ever likes.  I also vividly remember making a lot of moves that I now wish I could take back.  Ladies, and guys please correct me if I’m wrong, it’s pretty safe to assume that until a guy expresses interest in you, you’re just friends.

Elisabeth Elliot once said, “A real woman understands that man was created to be the initiator, and she operates on that premise.  This is primarily a matter of attitude.  I am convinced that the woman who understands and accepts with gladness the difference between masculine and feminine will be, without premise or self-consciousness, womanly.”

My prayer is that you’ll be this kind of woman—a woman who uses her gifts, develops her mind, and is passionate about God, and yet who is, without question, womanly.  I realize the attitude Elisabeth Elliot describes runs against the grain of our culture.  In many ways women today are encouraged to be anything and everything that can dream of—except Godly and feminine, womanly.  But don’t take your cues from culture!

If I could tell girls just one thing it would be: God will make you beautiful and will attract truly godly men to you, in His timing.  Make Godliness and inward beauty your priority.  Godly guys are looking for Godly girls.  If they aren’t, then they’re not Godly.  Aim to be Godly!  Then I would ask: Are they over-looking you?