I came in from work this afternoon and just crashed for a little while.  I was absolutely exhausted and feeling like someone had just sucker-punched me.  I thought that if I could just catch a power nap before supper, I’d feel much better. 

I went to my room and crawled under the covers hoping that for just about an hour– no one would need me for anything.  My body had shut down, no problem.  It was my mind that was the problem.  I suddenly started thinking about all of the things that I’d managed to push to the back of my mind lately.  In the midst of all of those things scrolling through my mind, I also had pictures of people that I’ve been going to call back for a while now and haven’t.  Next thing I knew I started thinking about and analyzing/evaluating things that had been said to me in the last 24 hours and whether or not they took my responses like I meant for them to.  My mind just would not shut off!  Then I just got annoyed and there was too much banging in the kitchen that was causing Zeva to yelp and my mom was walking in to see if I was interested in trying to eat, so I gave up and got on out of the bed.

I went on and had supper with everyone else, got a shower, watched the American Idol finale, and sat down to dive into the Word and try to just soak up God’s presence and listen.  I’ve been diligently seeking His face on two big (to me, at least) things in my life right now and am trying to get better at just listening.

So, I started with prayer time.  Next thing you know, it was very much like Jenny and Forrest in Forrest Gump.  Jenny’s come back to Forrest’s house and they’re hanging out all the time.  It’s one of my favorite moments in the movie when Forrest says, “Every day we’d take a walk, and I’d jabber on like a monkey in a tree and she’d listen about ping-pong and shrimpin’ boats and Momma makin’ a trip to Heaven.   I did all the talkin’.   Jenny most of the time was real quiet.”  That about sums up how my “listening” is going these days.  I’ll get still and quiet and the next thing you know I’m reminding God that my friend’s dad’s really sick and in my opinion, their world’s been through enough (you know, as if my opinion is what the Lord works off); my sister needs clear direction on what’s next, she just graduated college; another friend is going through a rough divorce; another friend needs discernment on how to handle the gray areas of life with her inquisitive seven year old; I need serious clarity in two areas of my own life and while patience is a virtue, I’m okay with Him just granting me patience instead of having to learn it.  (You know, if that’s okay with Him, of course.)  Just like Forrest, I was jabbering on like a monkey in a tree and just like Jenny– God was spending most of the time real quiet.  I have no problem listening when other people talk, why was listening to the Lord so hard?  Did He just not want to tell me yet? 

I turned in my devotional and found that today’s scripture was 1 Samuel 3.  Well, wouldn’t you know?  It’s the story of the LORD calling to Samuel while he’s in bed.  Each time the LORD stood there speaking, Samuel would jump out of bed and go see Eli, assuming that’s who was calling him.  Three times, the LORD tried to speak to Samuel.  Three times, Samuel took off in a different direction.  It wasn’t until Samuel got still and responded to the LORD that the LORD was able to tell Samuel what He had wanted him to hear the whole time.  Well, the only way Samuel could have responded to God is if he heard him, right?  That’s going to mean that he was quiet enough to hear him speak.  That’s where I struggle!

God wants to communicate with us and He tries to get our attention, but sometimes we’re just not paying attention.  He shouts, whispers, and tries many ways but it’s useless if we’re not listening.  I’m learning that when it comes to successfully completing prayer, it doesn’t matter how God responds to us; the important thing is that we’re listening. 

God WILL communicate with us, if we will develop a listening ear and listening heart.  We just need to identify the distractions in our lives that drown out God’s voice and then stop “jabbering on like a monkey in a tree” and be the one to “spend most of the time real quiet”.