For about as long as I can remember, I’ve been a writer.  I’ve kept prayer journals for years now.  I’ve had a journal to my future husband since college.  I’ve always preferred hand-written notes and cards to sending e-mails or Facebook messages.  A good pen (particularly if it writes pink) and a cute notebook will always make me smile. 

I write out plans, packing lists, grocery lists, and dreams.  I love to dream!  Sometimes, I’ll go to sleep just to dream.  I know most people don’t typically remember the dreams that they have, but I do.  I dream vividly.

Tonight, I was on a mad hunt for a book that I know I own, but for whatever reason it is not on my bookcase.  In the midst of my searching, I quickly became distracted when I came across some of my old journals.  Needless to say, I completely forgot about the book I was looking for and instead sat on the floor and read my old stuff.  I had to just laugh at some of the things I thought I really wanted to ask of God; things I was dreaming about.

I have been told that I probably dream too much, I need to have a more realistic view and plan.  Here’s the thing though: there’s nothing “realistic” about the way God moves.  I think His track record pretty much proves that.  One of the other things I came across tonight was a note card that just simply read, “The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead.  He puts a little piece of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less.” (2 Cor. 5:5)  A taste of what’s ahead, a dream even?  I’m convinced so.

What I realized while looking back on some of the stuff I’d written is that, as much as I thought He was, God wasn’t saying “no” to my dreams then.  He was just saying “yes” to a dream that I couldn’t see yet.  Thank You Lord for not being a God who just gives us whatever we think we want, but for being gracious enough to spare us from the pain that most of that “stuff” would bring our way.  He couldn’t have given those things to me.  He is obligated to keep us dissatisfied until we come to Him and His plan for complete satisfaction.  When we’ll do that, when we’ll reach past our personal plans, He’ll surpass our wildest dreams with what He had in store the whole time.

I will always be a dreamer.  I’m just learning to dream the dreams that match the heart of God.  I don’t always know what those look like.  What I do know is that sometimes, I’ll find myself caught in the kind of dream that causes my heart to skip a beat.  I’m convinced that God is definitely up to something when He overwhelms my heart like that.  Usually, those dreams don’t match, at all, what I’ve always thought I would live out.  However, when God changes our hearts—we’ve gotta be willing to change our plans.  I’m learning that I have to make sure God is truly holding the pen and allow Him to script my story as He sees fit, even if He takes the plot line in a completely new direction.